Why?
by Ketsueki aka Someone
Summary: A story about Sasori being raped by Deidara. All the chapters are based on songs from Nega and The GazettE. M-Rated for reasons!
1. Muddy Cult

**Song: Muddy Cult by Nega**

**Hey guys! Here I am again! I was ill yesterday, but I feel better now, thank God! I was bored so I decided to write a new story. So here it is. Please watch the videoclip from the song before you read this, it explains a lot. This is my first time in an M-rated story. I just wanted to write some gore/abused/raped story ^^U **

**I'm weird... **

**There are more songs from Nega with such themes, and maybe, JUST MAYBE I can write some more chapters with this idea. Please stay tuned! There will probably be another chapter with this song, because I didn't know how to past the second part in it. ^^U**

**This is about Sasori. He tries to escape from a feared organization. I don't want it to be Akatsuki, since he is part of it himself, so yeahhhhh.**

**Deidara abuses and rapes him almost to death, and, as you can expect, Sasori doesn't like it. **

* * *

Footsteps.

Footsteps, sounding in a hallway.

Footsteps.

Footsteps, belonging to a boy.

A boy.

Trying to escape.

Looking around in fear.

Fear for pain.

A painly surprise.

A scream.

The feared organization.

Another boy belonging to the organization.

The escape failed.

He's brought back to the pain.

The pain…

* * *

The boy was blindfolded and handcuffed.

"Sasori's back" he heard someone saying.

"Ah… Good." Another boy answered.

Sasori knew very good whose voice that was: It was Deidara's. The servant left, so it was only Sasori and Deidara left in the room.

"Well then. Sasori, why did you run away?" Deidara asked sweetly.

He pushed him on the cold, stone floor. The fallen boy whimpered.

"Aww, is the poor boy hurt?" The blonde's voice turned cold. He put one of his hands in his pocket.

"TELL ME! WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY?!"

Suddenly, as fast as lightening, he thrusted something in Sasori's arm. This one widened his eyes in pain.

The fear.

The fear for the pain.

The pain…

The stabbing went on for the whole night. It hurt like hell. He knew this was only the first punishment. More would follow. When his "master" was satisfied, he left.

Sasori lay on the cold ground,

Left for dead.

The "dead" body started to move.

Movements of crying.

'Why… Why? Why! WHY?!'

* * *

**Well... That's again a piece of crap Please tell me what you think of it, okay? I love reviews, and wanna know how you guys think about my shit. Thank ya~! Here are already some chocolate bars for you! **

**Ket = out again **


	2. Muddy Cult II

**Why? Chapter 2**

**So here it is, the next chapter! I'm bored as hell, so I'm writing again. LOL.**

* * *

One day passed.

The "Master" came back

He took out his knife again

He caressed the "servant's" cheek

"I want to ask you a question,

Have you got people you love?"

The boy shivered under the feeling of the hand.

A flash

Red liquid

Blood

Streaming out of a cut

A very deep cut

And again a flash

A scream

A question

"Ask me

Your help request out loud"

"Master... Stop...

Stop...!

STOP!!

"

Deidara quickly undressed. He sat down on a chair, pulling Sasori with him with his hair.

"So, believe me... believe me... believe me LICK me!" He whispered.

He pushed the red one's head to his manhood. Sasori hold back, but was harshly pushed to Deidara's lower part. He started to lick. His tongue caressing the tip, taking more and more inside his mouth. The master moaned.

"I'll, relieve you... relieve you... relieve you RAPE you!" He pushed the poor boy on the ground, tearing away his clothes. He spread the other one's legs and roughly entered his ass.

Sasori screamed, tears flowing down his cheeks. Deidara smirked.

"That's what you deserve for running away.

This is only the second punishment, there will come more..."

Deidara thrust into Sasori with much violence, causing the boy to bleed. He struggled, and tried to escape, only resulting in more pain.

Finally the "master" cummed. After that, he tossed his unconscious "servant" away.

He called for another one, asking for a bucket of ice water. When he got it, he threw it on the body. Sasori woke up. Deidara took out an injection needle. "So, believe me... believe me... believe me..." he hummed while he caressed Sasori's cheek. He placed the point of it on his eyeball.

"It is a next punishment"I'l

Sasori looked scared, tried to pull away, but the hand was like steel. It wouldn't let go.

Slowly, slowly, the point of the needle was pushed into the soft, white flesh.

Further and further is went.

The boy started crying.

The master smirked.

More blood.

Blood gushing on the floor.

Screams.

Laughs.

* * *

**Yup, poor poor Sasori, just HAD to add the last part with the injection needle ^^**

**God... I'm sadistic... To write such a thing **

**Anyway, thank you for the reviews I already got! It made me happy to see that I already had some ^^ Thank you!**

**I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow, but I won't promise anything! Anyway, the next song will probably be "Nightmare" from Nega. I don't know the English lyrics of it, so if anybody knows, PLEASE PM THEM TO ME~!**


	3. Taion

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO/THE GAZETTE.**

**THE LYRICS I USE IN THIS STORY AREN'T MINE**

**Why? Chapter 3**

**Song: Taion**

**Artist: The GazettE**

**I'm happy, so I'm going to ruin it by writing the next chapter. XD**

**So: Here it is~!**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS I ALREADY GOT~!**

**Okay, now it comes for real x)**

* * *

He lay there...

On the cold ground...

Again

Left for dead...

'Why...?

Why keeps he doing this...?

Why did he choose me?

Why do I have to be raped?

Violence rapes me.

An understanding is impossible.

Why was I chosen?

Someone should answer...'

He started crying

He knew he had to keep his voice down

Or else

His master would punish him again...

Again...

'Please, I want you to reply that this is a bad dream,

How much should I scream, anguish, and suffer?

Please, I want you to tell me this is a bad dream,

How much will this voice that seems to be torn to pieces cry?

I told myself

Not to lose sight of living...

Waarom...?

Iemand...

Help me

Iemand...!

Ik smeek het..!

Help me!

HELP ME!!'

"WAAROM?!"

He shot his eyes open

He said it

He screamed it

His master will come

He will be punished

The door opens

Opnieuw...

The master comes

Opnieuw...

And evil smirk on his face

Opnieuw...

He comes closer

The boy will be punished

Opnieuw...

* * *

**Well, what do you guys think of it?**

**In the end I used some Dutch word/sentences:**

**Waarom = Why**

**Iemand = Anybody/Somebody**

**Ik smeek het = I beg (for) it**

**Help me! = Help me!**

**Opnieuw = Again**

**Please R&R! Thank you~**


	4. Ill

**Yeahhhhhh I'm lifeless, so here's again an angsty chapter for the people that seem to love/like my story...**

**THIS CHAPTER IS NOT BASED ON A SONG!!**

* * *

Sasori widened his eyes in fear

The master came again

A smile on his face

Not an evil one

But a nice one

He came with a bucket

And a towel

He ordered him to lay down

To lay down on the bed

The bed the master bought for him

For him...

Why...?

Sasori lied down on the bed

He had a fever

From the cuts

From the wounds

From the blood loss

He realised something

Something important

His master

Actually cared

For him

For his life

For his love

Even though

Sasori wanted to run away

Away

From the master

From Deidara

From the one who cared for him

The ONLY one that cared for him

For him...

* * *

**Ciaossu! This time I was so lazy, I didn't have any inspiration for this chapter, so I made is a filler with important information. Do you still get it? :P**

**Well, I'm already writing the next chapter, it will be up today too, probably... I'm lazy, and the chapters are short, but PLEASE bear with it! I'm thinking about ending this story anytime soon. You will have to make me continue it! I will probably write 3 or maybe 4 chapters still, and then it is "THE END"!! Yup, sorry guys I'm to bored with it. I don't like the writing style so I want to start a new story or something like that. This was a kinda experiment ^^U =**

**Lazy Ket = Out**


	5. Idle

**YOW, told ya it would be up soon~! This one is a (little?) longer, so it entertains you more, hopefully ^^**

**Thanks, REALLY thanks for all the reviews already, and Sango-shippo for following it all the time ^^**

**Anyway, please read on~**

* * *

His wounds were healed

His fever calmed down

He was still weak

He was ready

He made up his mind

He would run away

Again

This time he would succeed

He was sure

Sure...

Sasori managed to get out of the room window without being noticed.

He knocked the guards out with a lot of luck

He knew the next time it wouldn't be that easy

He manoeuvred through the next salvo

Finally he was by the last guards

He strangled one from behind

The other one noticed it

Sasori was kicked in the stomach

He fell on the ground

But he got up quickly

The fight was short

Sasori won

He quickly ran outside

It was night

'I see moonlight

Illuminating my worthless body,

Destroys it

But...

I can't see hope'

He blinked

When he saw

For the first time

Since ages

The outside world

It was hidden

For him

For him

He ran and ran

On the dark streets

When he came

By a park

He fell down

By a pool

And soon

He fell asleep

A sleep with a dream

For the first time

Since ages

The dream was about Deidara

His master

And the destroyer

Of his body

Of his life

Of his love

Sasori loved Deidara

Deidara loved Sasori

It just

Didn't fit

The boy woke up

Crying

It was dawn

'I see sunrise

My heart which has no meaning,

Breaks down,

Shining'

He decided he couldn't stay here

He had to search

For a place

A place

To stay

To live

To think

And remember

Deidara

And live with

Deidara

Only if he could

Find

Deidara

Again

Again...

Did he want it?

'Yes...

I want him

Back

With me'

* * *

**Aww, Sasori wants Deidara back~ I'll write the next chapters soon. I have another day tomorrow, so I'll be writing a lot! ^^**

**Please R&R ^^**


	6. Haunted Jealousy

**helloooooooooooooo....... I'm bored as hell as usual......... Oh well, why not write another chapter?**

**Song: Haunted Jealousy**

**Artist: Nega**

**

* * *

**

The master walked

In the direction of his slave's room

Only to find

It empty

The slave

Has left

He's gone

The master is angry

He cursed

"Shit! Where did he go?!

Where did Sasori go?!

Anybody

WHERE IS HE?!"

'I was haunted by you

Please love all of me

You can't understand my thought and jealousy'

Deidara ran out of the room

He ran

To find his beloved slave

His lover

HIS lover

Sasori

Sasori...

"Damn...

Damn...!

DAMN!

HE'S MINE!

AND HE WILL ALWAYS BE!"

'I can't bear it

You can't hold me'

Deidara was in the outside world

He looked around

Sasori HAD to be here somewhere

His first thought was the park

There was soft grass

Where he could sleep

Where Sasori could sleep

The master ran to the park

He saw something

By the pool

It was

His beloved slave

His Sasori

HIS Sasori

He did not move

Deidara walked towards him

Slowly, not to startle him

When there was no reaction

He walked faster

He ran to the boy

He kneeled down by the body

The body he had seen so many times like this

But this time was different

He seemed so...

Lifeless...

Deidara quickly checked his pulse...

None...

No...

Still

There was one

Though it was very weak

VERY weak...

'No...

It can't be...

After I tortured him so much

He actually still had the power to run away

He hates me...

That's for sure...

Why...?'

Deidara pressed his lips against Sasori's

After a long kiss

He pulled away

There was no reaction

No

Wait...

Sasori moved!

"Sasori...?

Are you okay?

Hey...

Do you hear me?"

He shook Sasori gently

Sasori opened his eyes

He coughed

He was very weak

"Why...

Did you kiss me?"

He asked with a shaking voice

"Because I love you"

Deidara answered

He had tears in his eyes

He had seen Sasori hurt so often

But still

This was different

EVERYTHING was different

Now

At this moment

Sasori's eyes widened

It was true

Deidara loved him

Deidara LOVED him

LOVED

"You...

Actually DO love me..."

He said with a faint smile

"What do you mean?"

Deidara asked confused.

"What do you mean?

Don't be unclear!

What do you mean?!

Answer me dam-"

"I love you too..."

Deidara's eyes widened

For the first time

Since he knew Sasori

Since he knew his slave

His beloved slave

His Sasori

He kissed him again

This time Sasori kissed back

It started to rain

But they didn't care

Not now

Then Deidara left

To search for help

Sasori stayed behind

He was happy

For now

He knew he couldn't last long anymore

But he was happy

He had a horrible life

With a good ending

He knew it was good

He said "Good bye" to the world long ago

He was ready

Ready to leave this world

For good

He looked around

For once more

For probably the last time

"Good bye..."

* * *

**O.o Is Sasori going to die?! O.o**

**Well, stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	7. The rain falls

**YOSH! I decided to cut this chapter in half, because the two parts didn't mach to be in 1 chapter ^^U **

**So here is the first part, the next one will be up soon too! It is still in the writing phase, but it should be done soon ^^**

**Enjoy~! (And thanks for the reviews! *hugs* Really, thanks! :))**

**

* * *

**

The boy was left

In the rain

All alone

In the park

'The rain falls

If I keep living,

What I should believe?

Even so,

I've lost sight of my heart

Someone tell me the reason

And the value to live

That un-vanished thing inspired me

Without an umbrella, I'm being beaten by the rain'

An umbrella

It all started with that

Three years ago

He lied in the same park

By the same pool

With the same weather

It rained

He wished he had an umbrella

Just at that moment

He saw one

Together with a man

A man

With long blond hair

And crystal blue eyes

One visible

One covered by a bang hair

A gently smile on his face

He was the one

That saved him

From the death

And driven to the edge

Of the death

Every time again

He held out a hand

Smiling

Winking

And laughing

Offering his help

Sasori was confused at that time

Not knowing what to do

Finally he accepted the man's help

They walked together

Together to the place

The place where he would be tortured

Tortured for three years

Three long years...

But now it was over

He has escaped

He was safe now

But somehow

He still longed for Deidara

His master

And torture

He wanted him back

But now it was too late

It was too late...

For sure...

He would leave this world soon

He touched his lips

The lips that had met Deidara's

Not with force

But with tender lvoe

He was happy now

Though

He was sad

He looked around for the last time

He felt the rain falling on his face

On his body

'Tears falling…

Blurring a puddle

Crying…

Crying…

Tears and rain…

Here they not disappear…

Crying…

Crying…

Drying tears

At the end,

Dried this heart

Sayonara...'

* * *

**Yup, gomen nasai, but Sasori is really dead now... GOMEN NASAI!! I'M SO SORRY, but it's part of the plot... I don't like it myself either, I never thought that I would kill Sasori myself... **

**HEY YOU BITCH, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?! *slaps herself* YEAH, YOU DESERVE THAT!!**

***cries* **

**Anyway, thanks for the reviews already, and I'll see you guys soon again~!**


	8. Guilt Trip

**Yo, the one for the last chapter! Hope you enjoy~!**

* * *

Deidara ran as fast as he could

Back to the base

Memories haunting his mind

Memories from three years ago

Of seeing his beloved slave

In the rain

At the same place

He whipped some tears away

'Damn,

Why did it have to turn out

Like this?!

I don't deserve this

Sasori doesn't deserve this

Well,

Maybe I do

But Sasori doesn't!

Once he was in the basement

He searched for the phone

When he found it

He called

For an ambulance

An ambulance to help his slave

To help his lover

He knew he would be questioned

He knew he would end up in jail

But he wanted

He wanted Sasori to be okay

'Why?!

Why did I do that?

I'm only hurting us both

I saw it

I saw it that Sasori was hurt

Physically

But also

In his mind

I saw his pleading eyes

Begging me

To stop

To stop hurting him

He couldn't handle it

I saw it

But still

I did it

For my own good

For my own pleasure

I was wrong

I know it

I knew it

God

I...

FUCK!

I feel so guilty

I shouldn't have done this

Everything that hurt

I shouldn't have done this!'

"I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS!!"

He ran back to Sasori

Back to the park

He saw that his eyes were closed

He froze on his place

Then

Slowly

He walked towards his lover

His tortured lover

He kneeled down by him

He turned Sasori's head

He touched his eyelids,

They were still warm

Still...

Tears fell down Deidara's face

More and more

Harder and faster

He couldn't believe this

He cried

He screamed

His voice reached everywhere in the park

He cried

And screamed

While he was thinking about Sasori

He couldn't handle this!

He couldn't believe this!

He screamed

He cried

He shouted

He cursed

He pleaded

He begged

For Sasori

To come back

He couldn't

He couldn't believe

He couldn't...

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

!"

* * *

**SO, did you enjoy it? I almost cried, well, it's worth it ^^**

**Sayonara~ for now!**


	9. Reminiscence

**Ciaossu! The final chapter! Yes baby, the last one.**

**I'm so sorry, but I just felt I had to end it.**

**This is a few years later. Deidara thinks about Sasori. The used song is Reminiscence by Nega.**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

Deidara sat in his chair

Sitting

Thinking

Thinking about a few years ago

Thinking about his slave

His lover

His Sasori

He had a sketch block on his lap

A pencil in his hand

He was drawing

Drawing the flowers

That Sasori liked

'All of your pain

Is my pain

With such a broken voice

You said

"Why am I this weak?"

Embracing the shaken you

I prayed in the night

I know I won't ever get you back again,

But...

Your birthday is coming,

Isn't it?'

With his pencil

He drew

Absentmindedly

Beside the first flower

Another one

'I want to draw the white world

Even if you are in the black world

I believe that you are white'

Deidara started to cry

He knew

That Sasori was up there

Up there

In Heaven

And he knew

That when he would die

He wouldn't go there

He knew

That he would go to Hell

Because he failed

Because he didn't follow God's rules

But if God actually existed

He would already be punished

He didn't believe anymore

In that "God"

Because

His punishment hadn't come

And now

It wouldn't come anymore

'Maybe I'm punished right now

Maybe this sadness is my punishment

I don't deserve it to be happy

After I took the happiness

From someone else away

Someone's happiness

That made me happy

That someone

Was him

Why...?

Why did I do this?

Why?!

WHY?!

I drew two flowers.

This picture is not sad.

However,

Why am I sad?

I know it

It is because you're not here

I miss your presence

I miss your cries

I miss your laughs

That I have only heard

When you were just here

I hate myself for it

I hate everything that I did

What if...

What if I could turn everything back

What if I just helped you

And didn't torture you

What if...

What if I just killed myself

Then I would go up there too

Maybe

On my way to Hell

I can see a glimpse of you

Maybe...

I'm very painful in suffering of you.

I wanna meet you.

I wanna touch you.

Because I still love you.'

Deidara stood up from his chair

He walked outside

Where he hadn't been for years

He walked to the park

Where he had seen Sasori for the last time

He walked to the pool

The pool

Bounded with much memories

He stared into the water

He saw his own face

He didn't recognise it

He saw a face

With long blonde hair

That hadn't been brushed

For a long time

He saw hollow, blue eyes

Almost all the colour had vanished

They lied deep in his head

He saw a pair of cheeks

Pale

And hollow

He stared

At the for him unknown face

The unknown person

He teared his gaze away from the pool

He went to the drugs store

When he heard his voice

He didn't recognise it

It was cracky, and high

He sounded like an old man

He asked for a pack with 75 paracetamols

When Deidara was home

He walked to the bathroom

He took a glass

And broke the pack with the medicines open

He took a handful

And he swallowed then

One after another

He had almost half of the paracetamols swallowed

When he felt that he became dizzy

He gripped the sink

Preventing him to fall down

Slowly he sat down against the wall

Memories flashed through his mind

He swallowed again a few pills

Then he really didn't feel well anymore

He started to puke

He grabbed his stomach

It started to hurt a lot

His liver was beginning to hurt the most

He was thinking about how much he already consumed

'It has to be around 60'

Then he collapsed

'Sasori, I will see you again

Though

That's what I hope

Goodbye world'

"Sayonara..."

And he closed his eyes

He floated

He saw his dead body

He smiled

He was gone now

He was leaving the world for good

Up he floated

He left

He was happy

He saw the white walls from heaven

And in the middle

He saw the great white gates

And behind them

He saw what made him the happiest

He saw there Sasori

He saw that he was happy

He called for him

Sasori looked up

And saw Deidara

He gasped

And ran to the gates

"DEIDARA!!"

"SASORI!!

I'm going to Hell

I'm sorry!

I can't see you anymore

But I'm glad that you're okay"

"Deidara!

NO!!

You can't have died!

YOU CAN'T

Don't tell me you committed suicide

YOU DIDN'T

Did you...?"

Deidara became sad

Sasori became pale

"You... did...?"

"Yes..."

Right at THAT moment

Deidara felt a great force

Pulling him away from the gates

He couldn't do else

Than coming with it

"Deidara...

Where are you going?

HEY!

DEIDARA!!

DON'T GO!!!!"

Sasori cried

Deidara cried

They couldn't do else

Than obey

Sasori deserved Heaven

Deidara deserved Hell

So be it

'Seems like God actually does exist'

Deidara thought

He was happy

He was sad

Happy

Because he knew that Sasori was all right

Sad

Because he knew he wouldn't see him anymore

He had to obey

It couldn't be else...

It couldn't...

* * *

**Hmmm.... Don't like the ending though... I guess I'll make a short epilogue...**

**About the Paracetamol thing, I actually did research! After 40 ones, you may hope that you'll die, but the chance is bigger that you go into coma or something like that. It destroys your liver, and causes paleness and sickness. **

**Anyways, THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS I GOT!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!**

**Maybe see you soon???**


	10. Epilogue

**Well then. The epilogue.**

**

* * *

**

'Hell

This was Hell

It was worth calling Hell

Hell

This is what Sasori had gone through

I deserve this

I have to feel what it is

Before I can understand

I've been here for 1 year

It hurts

It's Hellish

But I have to go through this'

* * *

'Hell

This is certainly Hell

It is year 2

So painful

But it's still nothing compared with Sasori

I miss him

I want to see him

But I can't

He's in Heaven

I'm in Hell

It has to be

There will never be any chance

Every day is horrible

The pain

The torture

The rape

But it's nothing compared with Sasori

It's Hellish

But I have to go through this'

* * *

'Hell

It's horrible

I can't handle this anymore

I can't

I keep thinking of Sasori

He's happy now

I'm sure

He doesn't miss me as much

As I miss him

I've been here now for 3 years

The pain is unbearable

Sasori...

How are you now?

I can't see you

I won't see you

Because it is impossible

It's Hellish

But I have to go through this'

* * *

'Heaven

It is great

It's beautiful

It's silent

I'm here

Together with Sasori

I have completed

All the years of torture

My punishment

Sasori

God

How much I've missed you!

But now we're together

Again

I love you

And I'm happy

Heaven

It's Heavenish

And I go through it with pleasure'

* * *

"Deidara,

You are spacing out again

Are you all right?"

Sasori waved his hand before Deidara's face

"Of course Sasori

Because it's Heaven

And we're together"

Deidara said with a smile

"What were you thinking?"

Deidara blushed

"Uhmm.… Nothing???"

"Oh Deidara!

Don't keep imagining me

Without clothes!"

Sasori said

With his head all red

"I'm sorry

But I just can't help it!

We're here

And I've missed you a lot!"

"Argh, Okay then

Come on

We're going to our bedroom"

Sasori pulled Deidara with him

"O-okay!

If you're sure

We can have some...

Fun...!"

Deidara smiled saying this

* * *

Somewhat later outside their bedroom

* * *

"Oh, they're at it again"

Kisame said

"Why aren't you angry?"

Itachi asked his lover

"Because we're in Heaven!"

Above Itachi floated a big question mark

"In Heaven you can't be angry!"

Kisame explained

"Oh yeah..."


End file.
